pin head

Which part of the brain remembers pin numbers and passwords? I did a rough calculation this morning and I need to remember around 33 on a regular basis.

They're for net banking, my work computer, work remote access email, iphone, mobile phone billing, Qantas frequent flyer account, credit card, ATM card, alarm, ebay, my blog, etc etc.

I try and consolidate them, but sometimes it's not possible because you're prompted to change them every five minutes or the number of characters you can use is different.




Ah, modern life. Do you think my brain labels are accurate?

books r gd 4 u

I haven't been reading enough lately. Work stress has driven me to escapism; I've been watching tawdry trash on Foxtel IQ [cable TV /Tivo for the non-Aussies] - (shows like Reality Hell on Channel E) instead of nurturing my mind. Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not bagging on trash TV. I think it's fun, but like junk food - you need other things in your brain diet to balance it out.

Sometimes, when I'm writing my shopping list these days I have to think how to spell simple words like 'paper towels.' That's a lie, but I do feel that I'm at least 4% dumber than I was prior to having Foxtel installed - I'm considering litigation.

Dear brain, I'm sorry I've been feeding you brain-cheetos in the form of vacuous TV. This weekend I'm going to crack open those rectangular things with all the pages in them that have stories and typed stuff in them.


image of Karl Lagerfeld from tfs

sodastream dreams

Do they still make Sodastream machines? You know those machines that you use to make your own homemade sodas in the old skool bottles. Would it be really daggy to buy one or retro-chic?



image from retromamas

ode to under-exposed celebrities

I am so over reading about over-exposed celebrities! This frustration inspired be to devote a post to those TV personalities, actors et al. who are compelling and cool because they're actually decent at what they do and don't media-whore themselves into the spotlight; the antithesis of the Nicole Ritchie/Spencer and Heidi set.

I was thinking about this subject after seeing some pictures of Lyndsay Lohan's fashion collaboration with Ungaro that featured models wearing sequined hearts affixed to their heads (see pic) and lady bits. Are they taking the piss out of us all? Is it some giant talent-less conspiracy? Instead of doing a rant against over-exposed, talent-lacking, pop-tarts, I thought I'd channel my energy into something more positive.

Here are my favourite under-exposed -- famous-for-being-good-at-something --celebs:

Anthony Bourdain - he's a NY chef, writer and host of the show No Reservations. His first book Kitchen Confidential is a funny and caustic look at the food biz and vividly describes his flirations with drugs, sex and awesome food. A TV chef who hasn't released any branded cookware! No Reservations is an awesome pseudo-travel show centred around global food experiences. He's funny, sharp and likeable in a grumpy, cynical way. Check out his books or TV show if you haven't already.

Jenny Brockie - host of the Australian current affairs program, Insight on SBS. She is a smart, savvy Gold Walkley winning journalist who manages to corral crazy opinionated kooks, waffly politicians and wanky social commentators, while peppering her hosting with insightful analysis. [heart Jenny].

Philip Seymour Hoffman - an actors', actors' , actors' actor. Picks A to the MAZING roles and makes them sing. I have no idea who he's screwing and I have never seen him in a fragrance commercial or a mug shot. Gets headlines for being great at what he does: tres refreshing.

Do you have a fav under-exposed (or perhaps I mean appropriately-exposed??) celeb?

images from reuters, sbs and fts

bird on the wire

Dear reddoorreaders, I've decided to create a RDR twitter thingo thing. I figure I'm so unreliable at blogging at the moment, why not create another layer of self-indulgent technology that I can feel guilty about neglecting?

You can follow me at @reddoorread or not. If you're old school or a lurker you can hang out here. I'm trying to reform my dead-beat blogging ways and be a little more reliable. I'm not really sure what twitter is about, as I've posted before, but like all the cool kids are doing it and I'm all about the zeitgeist...whateva.

It's a long weekend here so I promise to get blogging a little over the weekend.

If twitter is micro-blogging, does that make this macro-blogging? Sorry to get all Vegemite isnack 2.0 on you. I think the guy who came up with the name is in hiding in Cuba right now.

x RDR

wanger

Dear Alexander Wang,

Don't design stuff like this. My eyeballs are embarrassed just looking at it. I must say this bondage-pouch-strap-garment-thing is giving off a distinct suicide bomber vibe, which is not edgy - it's just stupid turned up to 11.

As a professional woman in her 20s with no dependents and disposable income, I'm thinking that I'm in your target market. Let me tell you, me and my kind do not want to wear this. The fact that it costs $850 USD to look like a tourist from another planet is just a twisted joke. Mr Wang, I'm not laughing.

Sincerely,

RDR

images from shopbop

shopping under the influence

Last night after many glasses of wine, upon returning home I thought it would be a good idea to do some online shopping. You know, just have a little look around. See what's out there. Keep my finger on the fashion pulse and all that.

Now readers, I pose a question. What do you think is the most risky/stupid thing you could buy online? Weapons? Dodgy Mexican prescription drugs? No, these are all quite sensible, compared to what I bought.

Sunglasses. Yep, possibly the item that it is most important to try on prior to purchase. I decided to hit up bluefly.com for a pair of Chloe sunglasses.

I also bought a disgustingly ornate crystal Versace bottle stopper...because, like, every girl needs one of those, right...? Yes, I bought an accessory for my wine while I was drunk. WTF was I thinking? Below are pictures of said items. Cross your fingers that those sunnies don't make me look fat/ugly/stupid and that if they do Bluefly have a reasonable returns policy.
























Readers, have you ever shopped under the influence? Oh and Bluefly, if you're reading this, I would happily accept some 'cash for comment' in the form of this Miu Miu bag.

images from bluefly and pattycakes

blog coma

Where am I? What year is it? Michael Jackson died, what?! A guy called Barack Hussein Obama is the US President? How long have I been out?

Dear readers,

Sorry for the lack of posting. I could list a whole bunch of reasons excuses, but that would be boring. Right now I'm trying to decide whether to can this blog or keep it going with the caveat that I can't promise to be around that often. Consider me the dead beat dad of blogging right now. Your birthday is in August, right?

Seriously though, big chocolate coated thank yous to all of you readers who left me messages saying you like this blog. I truly appreciate it. [heart] [heart].

I've decided to conduct a poll to decide the fate of red.door.read. Think of it as 'choose your own adventure' blogging. Please respond to the below question.

Where to next?

a) Can the blog. I don't want none of your unreliable blogging and this stupid blog isn't even cool anyway. You haven't done one post on Orla Kierly. Pack your bags, blog-girl.

b) I'm ok with a casual relationship. I like to take it easy, have a bit of fun and not get hung up on commitment. That's how I roll.

c) Meh, who cares. I just found your blog by googling 'red table sex.' What the fark is this site, anyway?

Oh, and for those wondering what I bought with my Rudd-stimulatory tax bonus cash. Here she is - a new Longchamp travel bag.

I plan on spending this weekend getting all self indulgent - checking out my favourite blogs, relaxing, cooking and testing whether my eyes will turn square from watching too much Foxtel. Here's a wonderful me-time recipe from Donna Hay that I thought I would share with you all that is perfect for lazy weekend activities. Don't hate on her just because she is in love with Julie from Masterchef, mmkay?

Double hot chocolate

200g good-quality dark chocolate, chopped**
200g good-quality milk chocolate, chopped
4 vanilla beans, split
1⅓ cups (330ml) single (pouring) cream
1 cup (250ml) milk
marshmallows and cocoa, to serve

Divide the chocolate and vanilla beans between 4 glasses. Place the cream and milk in a saucepan over low heat and simmer for 2–3 minutes or until warmed through. Pour over the chopped chocolate, stirring until the chocolate is dissolved. Top with marshmallows and dust with cocoa to serve. Makes 4.* You can adjust this recipe to suit your taste. If you prefer a darker, richer brew, use more dark chocolate – we like anything up to 70 per cent cocoa. If you prefer a milder flavour, opt for more milk chocolate. You could also experiment with different flavours, such as adding a cinnamon stick to the milk while it’s simmering.

My variation on this recipe is I add a little bit of powdered dried chilli to the brew...I got into this when I was in Central America and it really is moi bien.

**Does anyone else find it annoying/condescending when recipes tell you to buy 'good quality' things...I'm kind of aware that Black & Gold chocolate tastes like cr@p.

Anyhoo readers, I'm out for now. Please respond to the poll and have yourselves a merry little weekend.
x RDR

same same but different

Click play for free giggles.

We tackle the big gender issues here at RDR. Do you and your partner in crime have different design priorities? Ever had a girlfriend who wanted to hang a poster of a fully sick Lambourghini on their wall, or a male lover who thought it was ok to have teddies on his bed? One guy I dated in the past had a very well paying job, and yet was too cheap to buy a new sofa even though it:

a) Was covered in a chintzy yellow and pink floral print that should have been incinerated at the end of the 1980s.

b) Had holes with tufts of scary looking stuffing poking out. These holes were big enough for me to get stuck in and lose mobile phone coverage.

Please, dish the salacious dirt and crazy co-habitation stories here. Every fifth comment will receive a Heineken*

Sorry for the lack of posting lately and for not trekking around blog land checking out all your rockin' blogs. I've been F-L-A-T O-U-T in my day job - someone has to keep Gotham City crime free.

*may not actually happen.

dear blog

Sorry I’ve been distant lately. I've been staying late at the office and spending time with other blogs. I haven’t 'checked out' of this relationship - I am still interested in you, and I do find you attractive - even now that you've just turned 80 posts old; it’s just, you know, sometimes a girl needs a little space.

I promise this weekend I’ll take you out to that art deco styled café you like, with the yummy poached eggs and good coffee and write with you all morning.

x x x

don't snuggie me

Apparently there are people out there that want to wear this.

It looks like the result of a blanket and a mumu’s awkward one night stand.

From the Snuggie website:
Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus our hands are trapped inside.

Are these marketing dudes trying to scare me into buying this thing? Hands that are trapped?! Also, blankets are not ‘ok,’ - blankets are the best-est.

I think this thing should come with a warning: If you wear this garment you will be inclined to sit in front of the tele all day eating fluorescent coloured Doritos and sending pathetic emails to Dr Phil.

In other blanket news, just in. My Mummy dearest is knitting me a mohair throw. Isn't she a doll? I'll post pics once it's ready.

What would you say if you dropped 'round your friend's place and they answered the door in a Snuggie? Maybe, 'Are you into Gregorian chants?' or 'You're not my friend anymore.'

poll: do you stick things on your fridge?

I'm asking this question for a couple of reasons.

























1. I never get polled by Newspoll or Gallop about politics or my world views - EVER. F**** them if they don't want my learned, considered opinions. I love to hear your opinions, dear readers. If you'd like to participate in a political poll here and comment on whether you think Peter Costello is a giant arse-hat, please feel free.

2. I was told recently after purchasing a new fridge that putting magnets and things on it is very un-designy and the opposite of chic. Wow, chic spelt backwards is cihc, which almost looks like it should be pronounced 'kitsch'. Spooky.


Anyhoo, said person was surprised that I have things stuck on my fridge. I use big black dot magnets (all coordinated as I am Virgo-centric) and only stick up postcards people have sent me. I think of it as accessible art and a shrine to travel. I also put the occasional recipe up there before it gets filed (yes, I have a recipe file).

So what do you do? Get all minimal and have a bare fridge or is it magnets-au-go-go at your place? The cute numero magnets above are from pretty originals. See, you don't even have to go into soul destroying gift shops on road trips to get a magnet hit.

Yes, I realise this is a tiny topic. If you came here to hear about Piggy flu, economic armageddon and such I suggest you move along. Feel free to leave your Tamiflu drugs here. I'm too cute to suffer.


















images from pretty originals and smeg

CURRENT POLL RESULTS: overwhelmingly the fridge-adorners are in the lead, with the minimalists barely represented.

transformer chairs

That Transformers movie that came out recently was surprisingly entertaining. This post is about chair restoration not cool, flying robot-changeup cars. If you've found this blog by googling 'Transformers movie,' sorry to disappoint.






I bought these Indonesian chairs months ago with the intention of fixing them up and using them as bedside tables. The chairs are made from beautiful, heavy wood but they had been kept outside so were sun-damanged and kind of patchy and sad. A bit like that lady in There's Something About Mary who sunbakes and eavesdrops.

before

Why have I been such a slacker? I was really nervous about restoring them because I've never 'done wood' before and I imagined restoration is something old guys who smoke pipes and have big sheds filled with vintage tools are good at - not me

I asked the cool peeps over at Decorno for some advice on restoration (back in the days when I was too timid to start my own blog). There were lots of wonderfully helpful suggestions posted - many of them recommending tung oil, which I decided to use. So I took a deep breath, channelled my inner handy-girl and FINALLY got on with it over the recent Easter weekend.

during

after

I'm happy with the result, as the oil has brought out beautiful colours and grain in the wood and it really wasn't a difficult job. I wish I could show you the beautiful timber properly, but I don’t have a fancy SLR camera. Also, it's very dark and rainy here today so the lighting is a little off.

Here are some tips if you're attempting this kind of job yourself.

1. Sand your surface well and make sure you clean up all the dust.
2. Keep your brush fairly dry to avoid drips.
3. Buy the best quality natural bristle brush you can afford - it'll give you a Barry White smooth finish and it's less likely bristles will fall out or spikey bits will stick out of your brush.
4. Wrap your brush in plastic cling wrap or a ziplock bag secured with a rubber band between coats. It'll stay moist and means you don't have to waste lots of water/time washing out your brush and leaving it to dry. I do this when painting too - tip courtesy of my dear Dad.

Got any other tips dear readers? I'd love to hear them

transformer image from topbun

< 20 questions

I have been sent a few emails with questions about this here blog and myself. Here are some answers.

What's your day job?

I talk, I write, I meet, I think, I research, I use a computer and have an office.

How old are you?

I'm older than Miley Cyrus and younger than Paris Hilton.

What's your favourite place in the world?

Too hard to choose; I always find 'favourite' questions tricky as I'm contrary and mood-driven. I have done a bit of travelling and absolutely adored Mexico, San Francisco, Tokyo, Fiji and Australia of course. The next trip I take, I want this Longchamp travel bag, Le Pliage Floral. I love the little pics of planes!

What's your best feature?

I have killer handwriting. I've been told it should be made into a font. My pen-personship has the power to melt hearts.

Are you qualified in astrology?

This question is prompted by my faux-horoscope posts I guess? See here and here new readers. I haven't received any training in astrology but I love waxing lyrical. Does that count? I am allergic to incense, which I think disqualifies me from being a real astrologer. Readers, look out for some new horoscopes for May on red door read soon.

What's your favourite blog?

I have loads of favourites. I particularly love designy blogs and funny blogs and cooking blogs. I enjoy fashion blogs as well but, I get bored of the ones with 500 pigeon toed shots of the same outfit that seem really contrived.

One of my newfound favs is Goddammit, I'm mad. It's funny and sharp.

If you've got a blog that you'd like me to check out - leave a note in the comments or send me an email. I love finding new fab blogs.

Will you do my horoscope? Sure. Send me an email. I've done a couple by request and as gifts. Please keep in mind - they're intended to be just for laffs and lighthearted.

images from this big thing, we heart it and dropular

colour code

The sky is dull here today as there's little sun. Autumn is getting itself comfortable. I thought I'd inject some colour into red door read today.

I was going to do a post about something really topical, but I really can't be bothered. I've been waiting so l-o-n-g for a delivery guy to turn up with my new fridge and I'm feeling rather put-out and grumped up. Here's a promise, sometime between today and next Tuesday, I will deliver something. Ahhh, I swear waiting for delivery guys / tradespeople is bad for the brain.

Back to colours - I find it very interesting how colours signify different things in different cultures and how that changes over time. Like how blue is now a colour for little boys whereas from the 1920s - 1940s pink was for boys as it's close to red, which was considered masculine. Blue was seen as feminine as it's reminiscent of the Virgin Mary's robes.

Here are some random colour factoids.

The ancient Egyptians considered themselves a red race and painted their bodies with red dye for emphasis.

Purple prose is writing that is full of exaggerated literary effects and ornamentation. My kind of writing.


The ancient Greeks wore white to bed to ensure pleasant dreams.



Hindus in India wear yellow to celebrate the festival of spring.


In Iran, blue is the color of mourning.




I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colors. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns. - Winston Churchill.

Check out this functional, colourful kitchen-set-up kit from Joseph Joseph. This has got to be the perfect setting-up-house gift. It's got a sieve, mixing bowls, cups etc all nestled into its good self. Do girls still get glory boxes these day? This would be a cool glory box gift. It also comes in white.


























Do you have a favourite colour dear readers? Know any colour factoids? Does colour affect your mood or do you think that's colour-quackery?

images from weheartit and dropular

feeble fingers

Cupcake stand by Whitney Smith

I've posted previously about shopping on Etsy and how it can be a heart-breaker. Click on the link to see what I mean. Also, do you find the search engine to be a little touchy? Sometimes I just can't find what I'm looking for and I've gotten more hot tips from friends/blogs/recommendations. Perhaps I'm just impatient when it comes to searching. [shrug]

As I've mentioned, I'm getting into pottery classes* so I've been looking on Etsy for some hand-made inspiration. I'm definitely in the Minor Leagues right now - keeping that bench warm.

At the risk of sounding like a tragic groupie - I want to make pretty-fresh-cool ceramic pieces like these talented Etsy sellers' featured below and above! Speaking of groupies - I love that movie Almost Famous. Why hasn't Kate Hudson made anything decent since?

I love this fruit bowl design - reminds me of delicate coral. This would look great in my kitchen.

Buy it.

I'm also taken by these cutie printed cups. Sweet gift for a knitter or photographer.

Buy them

And this quirky butter dish aka butter bulb. Who knew storing butter could be so intriguing? The below illustration shows how this contraption works. I think my food-blogging friends would find this one compelling.

Buy

Ok, I'm inspired and determined to make rock-star, grade-A-cool ceramics.

I'll post some pictures from my classes soon.

Why does getting good at something have to take time, dear readers?

*Please note that I've made a promise to not make any references to that scene from Ghost with the pottery wheel and the sexy time on red door read. Damn, it's so hard....!

enough a-l-r-e-a-d-y!

We're getting some mixed messages. Consumerism is officially a dirty word - the media tells us so, and yet the Gov says we're supposed to spend our hard-earned clams to stimulate the economy....?

Apparently, we're all supposed to buy utilitarian, local things that aren't too flashy or pretentious. But, we're all supposed to feel sorry for people like high-end designers who can't sell their stuff at places like Moss (that mob who sell the $8000 glass I recently posted about).

My head hurts.

You know what media? Shut up. Stop talking about the recession in that maudlin tone, which sucks our will to live. We know you actually love it because it sells a few dirty news rags.

Also, you media peeps pounce on redundancy stories like a bunch of starved hyenas on a torn up carcus. I know there's people out there in tough situations - how about reporting it in a reasoned, respectful and responsible way? Wankers.

Dear media, I decline your invitation to the populist pity-party, thank you. I've got better things to do.

image from weheartit

location: frustrated

My home is a townhouse, which is part of a small group. I bought it around 18 months ago and I have since been discovering the joys of being part of a body corporate/strata group, which Lola tells me is like a condo co-op in North America? The deal is we all own our townhouses and courtyards, but the general areas, like some of the gardens and parking areas are owned in common.

It's all giving me frown lines that may need pricey botox soon, here's why:

Trying to get something done is like brokering a deal at the United Nations Security Council - only more sensitive.

We pay a body corporate manager a sizeable fee. I haven't figured out what he actually does other than send out bills every quarter that look like they've been printed on a dot matrix printer. I imagine him sitting in his office with:

• stacks of money forming those giant blocks - like they show in the vault in a bank heist movie.


• chicks in gold bikinis and stripper heels dancing to Usher


• empty bottles of Moet and Chandon casually littered about the place

There are distinct voting blocs, which are evident at the meetings (it's kind of like the way countries vote during the Eurovision Song Contest). The owner/occupiers vote to spend a bit of cash to fix a few things, whereas the evil landlord bloc couldn't give a monkey's teet whether their renters have nice gardens.

Ahhhhh !!

Here's a beautiful French bedroom shot to temporarily ease the pain. I want to sleep here. I'm loving that lamp with the stripey base. I think low beds can give a relaxed, lofty, cool atmosphere.

Dear readers, any tips for dealing with the body corp? I'm very new to this and I've got no game plan.

images from corbis, eurovisiontv and marie claire maison

the price is right

I'm Generation-Y, so I'll admit, I'm attracted to high-end things; hedonistic consumerism is in my DNA. Being Gen-Y also means I'm too old to understand emos.

I was talking to a Gen Xer recently and he asked what is the difference between Y and X. I said,
'It's very simple. Y-Generation has no guilt.'

He then had a sad look in his eye (guilt-burdened chap). So I told him to go listen to Nirvana and watch Reality Bites. Gen X likes that stuff, right?*

Now back to talking of consumerism; as well as high-end, I also love finding exciting/ridiculous bargains and interesting ye olde vintagery.















I must admit though, I'm not the best opp-shopper. My successes are based on luck rather than skill or stamina. I don't have that relentless energy to doggedly trawl through racks and boxes and such. If the sexy, cool stuff isn't right in front of my face, I'll probably miss it.






















These pictures are of bits and pieces from my home that happen to be some of my fav opp shop and market finds. They're my favourites because they were KrAzY bargains and I find them to be very loveable.

Dear readers, do you skip along to markets and opp-shop for homewares? I'd love to hear your success stories as there really is nothing like picking up a ridiculous bargain. It's getting tougher out there, as opp shops have cottoned onto trend-vintage.

*Please note I know zip-squat about generational difference and I had been drinking many Pimms at the time of this conversation.

easter mathematics

If you divide [/] one hot cross bun in half

add [+] one squashed chocolate easter egg
fold over and microwave for a few secs [>]
you will be in gooey chocolate eastery heaven.

Disclaimer: may cause you to feel ill and a bit food-trashy.


Have a wonderful easter break, red door readers.


image from weheartit